Unexpected life...

Somewhere in 2007,i've met a guy named Lai Joo Non. That time his nickname in the irc chat is 'coffee' but i forget what was mine. After we chatting, we decided to exchange or h/p number. Start from that day, we begin to sms each other to get to know even more. At that time, i have no feeling to him because i just 'frustrated'. :) We tell each other bout our life, what is happening and whatever on our mind.

One night, he told me to go into more deep relationship but i really have no idea whether to say "yes" or "no". Uh....Then he told me again, we just try to go with this relationship, if we found that we're not match then we still can be friend. So, i agreed him.

From the deep of my heart, he is not the type that i want because of our age distance and we stay too far. I didn't tell him bout this and try to go on again. I heard a lot of people said that if a couple have a big gap of age, it won't last long.

Day by day, he started to care bout me, tell me bout what happen during he's working at the office and try to understand me more. I really dunno that we are 'couple' or not cause we never met and never have a real date like others do. This keep me even make me more confuse to confirm with this relationship.

One day, i've disappear from his life for a week. This is because of i start to join ALAM as an Engine Cadet. I don't have any chance to give a sms or a call to tell him that i'm bot be able to contact with anyone during the induction week session. i dunno what he feel during that time. Will he worry bout me? Will he keep on trying to contact me everyday? Maybe this is the time as a "test" for him. :p

After a week been torturing in ALAM, the 1st person i call of course is my parents. After that he try to reach me. I'm glad that he call me, his action tell me that he really mean to getting in this relationship even more.

When my 3rd semester in ALAM, it was the sea phase practical onboard the ship. I'm very nervous for this practical. I scared that i'm not be able to catch up things like people do and create trouble to others. Unluckily when the day i report to the office, he never bring my medical report. This make the officer at the main offiice angry and shout on me as i am so dumb and troublemaker. That time, i really blame him for not to bring my medical cert. He try to apoligize again and again. It really make me so upset. The office rules are so strict and the officer there are so 'fierce' looking. It makes me even more nervous cause i really dun like people shout at me as i'm easy to get fobia and shock.

During onboard the ship, i keep on sending email to him as we're provided with email service and satelite phone. I prefer to send email rather than making call cause it is very expensive and not so clear. In the email, he always give me moral support and listen to my problem when i'm really stressed out.

Time goes very fast when i've been inform that i'll be signing off at Poit Tupper, Canada. It's chinese new year too. It makes me feel very happy and excited to go home. I miss pork very much!

When the 2nd ship training, i asked him to book a ticket for me to singapore as office has send notification to report there, but he forget to book my ticket. I'm really upset bout that. I treat him very cold on that day, until in the midnight he sms me to tell me that he willing to send me to JB by car if i'm still unhappy and angry. But i rejected him. After that, he sms again. he told me that he has found the sleep couch ticket for me and booked it for me. After i checked with him, actually he book a cabin for me. I'm very shock that he willing to book an expensive cabin for me to make me happy and forgive him.

After i've completed my sea phase, he came to fetch me at KLIA. It was very sweet when you have a person that you love come to fetch you come back from far and never meet for such a long time. He treat a lot of nice food and bring me to watch movie at the cinema but i fell asleep when watching Batman with him. :P

The 5th semester have started and it's the time to go back to ALAM again. So long never meet my friends and buddy. I'm very shock that everybody has changed. Some became more quite, some became more matured than i can think and so on. Everybody busy with their story and greeting each other. In this semester, i dunno whether my minded become mature or more narrow cause i've been thinking too much.

During school break, i sneak to KL to meet with my dear. This is only the way to cure our missing heart. This time i feel i'm far with him. I dunno if i'm the only think like this or he felt the same way too. I'm always looking for more intimates but everytime i try to tease him he said he's tired, this and that. He makes me feel very upset and make me think unnecessary. What i remembered is last time when the valentine's day, i wrote a card for him to show my love to him. I really really hope that he will write something to me in return no matter in what kind of method but he never do that. This make me feel even more frust and at last, i've cried. In my thinking, i blame myself for doing too much childish things and think that maybe it's true that what people saying bout having a big gap in age of boyfriend or girlfriend. I keep on thinking and thinking. I feel very down and unhappy. I dunno what to do. Even sometimes i think of break up with him but i never tell him anything bout my feeling. I scared that he will say i'm very childish or what.

But now, i don't remember since when, he give me more and more confident in our relationship. He love me more than yesterday. He let me feel his warmth even we are far from each other. He give me his hand when i fell down. He means everything to me. He does!

I can't imagine if my life is without him. Who am i if not him to guide me in my life. What will i be if he stop giving me support and share my problems. He is the one who make me grew up and having a mature thinking. From the start i'm confused and having doubt with our relationship, but now...I am very confident and excited to be Mrs.Lai. I can't wait to live with him to built our lovely castle. I do really really love him with my heart and soul.

Hubby, BB love you very much! Sorry for everything that bb did that might hurt hubby and please forgive bb if bb had say any word that might let hubby feel upset. BB just love you very much............